Please note: Once a month I give away a free mug and my favorite tea of the month to a loyal reader. To enter into this giveaway, you must be subscribed to this blog. You can learn how to subscribe HERE.
Tea brand: Pukka
Description: A deeply soothing fusion of organic chamomile, fennel, & marshmallow root. This tea is naturally sweet with undertones of honey, so it doesn’t need any added sugars or sweeteners.
Song: Milk & Honey by Billie Marten
Location: My living room with my HP laptop, a sugar cookie candle burning, the curtains open and letting gloomy sunlight in since it’s cloudy out today.
Now, you may be wondering what the “scene” is at the top of this blog, so i’m happy to explain.
The scene lets you envision what kind of mood I was in when I wrote this blog. Additionally, it lets you see more into my day to day and the things I don’t normally discuss on twitter. If you were actually having tea with me, this would be the setting we’re in, and I must say, this is one of my favorite settings to be in, especially for writing.
Recently, I’ve had quite a few people tell me every single day that I inspire them, which is why I want to create a more personable space to let people truly get to know me. For years, I felt like my story really wasn’t worth telling. Truthfully, it's been filled with unprecedented hardships that I was embarrassed of and that made me feel like I had to hide who I am and sometimes even lie about who I am to feel accepted by my peers.
As time has gone and I've gone to therapy, sometimes even twice a week, I learned that there is a real beauty in my lived experiences because they are what makes me human.
So, who is Tyllah-Chanel?
As a child, I was someone who hated my name. I couldn’t understand why my mom couldn’t give me a “normal” name. But now, I understand that my mom gave me a name the world would never forget and no one else would ever have. After having people butcher my name my entire life, I’ve finally reached a point in life where not only do I have the confidence to correct people, but people also actually ask me how to pronounce my name - which has been a revelation for me.
So today, Tyllah is an overly ambitious entrepreneur, loving aunt, supportive daughter and caretaker, granddaughter and so many more things. But because I'd been giving to others for so long, I started to realize that I didn’t really know who I was because my entire identity revolved around caring for others and leaving very little for myself.
2021 was the first year where I really started to figure out who I am, what I want and where I want to be in the next decade. So now, when you ask who I am, I can say I am someone who doesn’t enjoy large crowds, big lights, lots of attention, rowdy concerts or parties. Tyllah is someone who is contempt with a simple life with access to wifi, facetime, and good food. And for so long, I felt like that just wasn’t enough, like there had to be more to life. But after living life for 23 years without peace, the 24th year of my life brought me something I never really had before - happiness.
I thought getting materialistic things would make me happy, but I was wrong.
I thought watching my business scale and getting a warehouse would make me happy, but I was still wrong.
I thought buying a new car, getting a new dog, getting a job or something would make me happy, but I was still wrong.
The only thing that grew to make me happy was creating content, writing, and connecting with people in a genuine way. Having a safe space that I never had as a child makes me happy. Healing my inner child makes me happy. And being surrounded by people who want those same things makes me happy.
It’s so crazy saying these things out loud as I write them, because in hindsight I can’t believe it took me so long to realize these things about myself. For years, I thought my trauma would define me. I truly thought I would be depressed and anxious forever, but now I see things differently, I see just how beautiful life can really be.
Becoming an entrepreneur who wants to take their time after making a thousand mistakes, losing money, losing friends, losing business deals, turning deals down, and completely separating myself from society while refusing to go outside and talk to people has been very eye opening to me. While working through all of this, I’ve found the beauty in being willing to give life a chance to show me all of the amazing things I was missing out on.
So, that’s who Tyllah is - someone who dreamed of a better tomorrow as a child and putting one foot in front of the other to make that dream a reality, but on my own terms.
I think there is a real beauty in living life on your own terms, because it results in waking up by your own internal clock, drinking your favorite tea from your favorite mug, listening to your favorite songs, and writing things that actually matter to you. For once, I am ready to share who I am without feeling like I have to hide behind my painful past.
My pain doesn’t define me and moving forward, I get to live every single day embracing this beautiful life I've built as I move across the state to start a new life and put my businesses in a new environment.
So, if you enjoyed this, be sure to come back and have Tea With Tyllah every single week. I’d love to meet you, read your comments and maybe send you a mug and my favorite tea.